Punishment

The kids were not listening
The punishment was simple
No movie in the car
We stopped for dinner
Sonic, for the first time
For an hour they screamed
Who was I punishing?

From the Outside In

There she sits, her hair unkempt
Still in the teeshirt she had on yesterday
Her house is in shambles
The kids are undressed
Homework lays strewn across the tables
A laughing baby in the background
Her heart as heavy as a brick
She thinks of all that she has accomplished, the list is short
Someone has it better, someone has more
She wishes she was more

Falling in Love - July 1997

When you fall in love, it's just that, falling
You don't have any or much control
When you fall in love once, it's for life
But the second time, you know it's for all eternity
The longer you keep in touch with this person the love increases
It gets to the point of over ruling and no return
If you've been falling for less than a year, there is still hope
But when you are close to four years, you know this fall is never ending
You struggle and struggle to find a way of return
But you always find yourself falling back into their arms
When this person looks at you, you see passion in their eyes
Not only from you to them, but then back again
You think it may be coincidental or just harmless play or flirting
But deep down in your heart and soul you know this person loves you
It's not just a friendly love, but a passionate, never ending love
They've fallen like a rock, just like you did
Now this fall is continuing in the darkness of the night
Neither one of these rocks will hit a surface, whether hard or soft
Until both of you come forth and open your hearts to one another
Take that step forward and let each other know how you feel
And then, and only then will your fall come to a surface
When you hit a hard surface, you know this person wants to be nothing more than friends
But if and when you hit that soft surface
I hope then you both can find the deep passion of eternal love
And continue your fall together into the sunset

You're Scared - 1995

I know the reason you broke up with me
You were scared again our love could be
You're afraid of getting hurt on the day
The day I have to move away
You're scared to lose me forever
You don't want to be hurt, no not ever
The only thing you could possibly do
Was to hurt me, so it's not you
So you turned around and dumped me
I thought the answer was plain to see
You didn't want or love me
You just went and used me
But now I think I understand and see
You did it to make me happy

Love and Hate - Written in Jr. High

Love can leave you in a fantasy
Love is sometimes hard to see
Love can take you far from me
Love can sometimes never be

Love is a pain that will make you cry
Love is so strong sometimes you could die
Love can sometimes be really shy
Love can make you want to fly

Hate is a pain I will never feel for you
Hate is when I don't know what to do
Hate from you makes me sad and blue
Hate is why you don't have a clue

Love and hate can both kill you
Love or hate, what should I do?

Me Not You - Written in Jr. High

Sometimes I wish our love never existed
Then maybe those brown eyes could be resisted
I don't want to believe any of the lies
Cause then the tears will fill up my eyes
The tears then fall upon my cheek
Suddenly I become extremely weak
You had to go break my heart in two
It's always me, but never you
Nothing to me could ever come from your heart
Every thing you say tears me apart
There is only one thing left for me to do
To say the words I still love you

The Walk of the Moon - Written in Junior High

Summer nights will be here soon
Together we'll walk in the light of the moon
Walking along on a deserted beach
Once again for my hands you will reach
I'll look in your eyes with an affectionate stare
To lose you again I could never bare
Then I suddenly open my eyes
I hear the softest, faintest cries
The silent tears inside my head
The misery as I lie in bed
I realize then it wasn't reality
My moonlit walk was a fantasy

My Baby - 1997

If I look in your eyes I fall deep inside
I try to run but there's nowhere to hide
Wherever I am you're always there
Looking at me with a deep, hard stare
I'm in love with you, you know I am
That's why it's so difficult to face you
I wanna be with you but there is no way
I think about you every day
What we had, was it really true?
Or was it just a game for you?
Tell me that you loved me so
Even after I had to go
Say you still love me, even maybe
Cause you're the one that I called baby

In Love With a Friend - Year Unknown

This poem was written in high school I believe. I just want to put a disclaimer that I was not underage drinking or getting high ever. I just used some of those things in my poems for rhyming reasons.

Our love is the kind of love that never ends
Which means that we will always be friends
Through thick water and through thin
Even after a glass of gin
We can be drunk or even high
Or sailing through the open sky
Take my hand and don't let me go
Friends forever we both will know
In the sunlight or the pouring rain
If we are together there will be no pain
Through the good times and the bad times
Through the stories and through the rhymes
To be friends or to be in love
That's the question I'm faced with
So just hold me close and don't let me go
You're here for me I will always know

I Love You, I Want You, I Need You - 1995

Love is spelled L-O-V-E
I wish that's what you felt towards me
Love connects two people as one
Your love for me is gone and done
When I look in your eyes I don't see me anymore
Please give me one more chance before I walk out the door
I love you, I want you, I need you
Believe me, everything I say is true
I'm gonna be gone forever and ever
We won't have a chance to be together
Promise me if you love me again
We can share our love until the end

Eyes of Amber - Written in High School

I wrote this in high school about a guy I had a crush on for a long time.


My tongue would be tied if you were standing before me
Looking in your eyes you'd be the only person I would see
With time standing still and fate on my side
I'd try my best to tell you how I felt and have nothing to hide
But you make it so difficult for me when I don't know how you feel
I need to know if the things I see aren't pretend but real
With your eyes being amber and your smile so sweet
I wonder if its time to wave the flag and call defeat
Looking in your eyes I become instantly hypnotized
Not worrying if what you say is the truth or mere lies
Don't back away because your feelings are so strong
They may be right, they are not always wrong
And it doesn't even matter
With you having eyes of amber

The Ring of the Alarm - October 2002

I wrote this for a poetry class I took in college.


so much depends
upon

the ring of the
alarm

pulling back the
blankets

arousing us from
slumber

Desire - year unknown

desire
now makes curiosity
reach
grasped
silky skin
pushing the rain
feel the love
slipping into her

Sher-Bear - Written by Kathy

This is a poem written by my mom's cousin, Kathy, in honor of my aunt Sherry. She was killed in a motorcycle accident in 2004. She was 43 and a breast cancer survivor.

You went to sleep so peacefully

And woke up at Heaven's door

Your darkness has been replaced

By a light

That will shine forever more

We'll see that light

When we think of you

Even though our hearts will cry

Knowing Heaven has our "Sher-Bear"

To brighten Eternity's sky

Now Heaven's been graced

With your sunshine

Now Heaven's been blessed

With your style

Now each time we glance toward Heaven

We will think of your beautiful smile

You went to sleep so peacefully

Not long after your storm came through

Your fight this time

Was far too great

That's why Heaven sent for you

They say that God only takes the best

And now we know that's true

Because "Sher-Bear"

For no other reason

Would He take an Angel like you.

Someone Else - 1995

I have so much love for you
My love could never be for someone else
I sit here everyday and think of what to do
Since I think your love is for someone else
So tell me that our is true
Cause you tell me your love isn't for someone else
I think I can believe you for now that's right
Cause your love isn't for someone else
At least that's what I think so let's not fight
Cause our love isn't for anyone else

With You - 3/30/2000

I spend every waking moment with you but still it isn't enough
Being in your arms and feeling your touch is a happiness beyond words
I feel so special knowing you love me
Your strength gives me strength and I never want to let go
Looking into your eyes I can't help but smile, I can see your love
To be with you is all I wish for
No amount of money or possessions could ever replace the love I have for you
I want nothing more than to spend all of eternity in your arms
And if you and I were merely a dream, I would never want to wake up

Devil Pride - 8/25/99

Just because you think you can't go on, doesn't mean you don't have the power
Just ask a Blue Devil, cause they aren't cowards
The Devils may look weak, but that's only the beginning
If you look down deeper, you'll see I'm not kidding
The Devils get knocked down but they keep on fighting
Cause with all their fan power they keep on biting
It's up to you to bring out the devil in you
I know you have it, that's why you wear the white and blue

With This I Promise - 5/1/2000

To walk into a room and not be with you makes me completely lost
Having an entire bed to myself keeps me up most of the night
Just looking at you puts a smile on my face that anyone can see
Thinking about makes my whole body melt
If I were to have to live without you I am not sure how I would manage
Only you can keep me from going totally insane
So for you to even contemplate leaving me tears me apart
I know are different than anyone else, that is why I am with you
But to be hurt so much already hurts even worse
So with this I promise to never let you go
As long as you stay with me for all eternity

The Thought of Losing - 8/16/2000

You say you know what it is like to lose something. To have something taken away from you and to you it seems unfair. But most of the time you haven't even been through half of what you think you understood. The things that happen to other people and you say, "I know what it's like. I can relate. I understand." Simple words of sympathy to make someone feel like they are not alone. But in all actuality can you feel what they are feeling at the exact moment they are feeling it... probably not. Because if you've even experienced that disappointment, even just yesterday, you won't feel as bad as they do today.

And when someone is scared of losing something or someone or just scared in general, you try to comfort them, tell them everything will be alright. But who is to say that. Who knows for sure. No one does and that is even scarier. Because when you are afraid of losing what means the most to you or you are afraid of being a nobody, you cant do anything to change how you feel. Because no matter what you have no idea what can and will happen. And just the plain thought of losing is scary enough.

Daydream - 95/96

I sit and listen to the rain
It seems to fade the sense of pain
The sense that he doesn't love me anymore
If only I could be back home on the shore
My dreams will come true if I only believe
All my hopes that someday I will achieve
So I close my eyes and think of the day
I can be there forever, to stay
I dream of the day I move back there
Wondering if anyone would even care
With so many tears in my eyes
I will be back home and hear happy cries

Revenge - year unknown

Hit in the face with an apple pie
You're so embarrassed you want to die
You gran the towel to wipe off your eyes
You're laughing so hard you start to cry

Everyone's laughing
Your friends too
You're so embarrassed
You don't know what to do

You look at your friend
"How about you?"
You picked up a pie
Only if she knew

Knew what it's like to be hit in the face
Know what it's like to be in your place

You pick up three pies
Maybe even four
You hit her with all
Before she got out the door

No Chance - 1995

I wrote a lot of poems about boyfriends, boys I wanted to be my boyfriends, and boyfriends that broke my heart. This is just one of the many.

I know I love you and I see
You're too good to be with me
You're always nice and always kind
But I know you will never be mine
I see you everyday, I always stare
I wonder if there is a love we can share
But no, we cannot ever be
I know you will never love me

Thoughtless Love - 2002

I wrote this one about my relationship with my dad. Ever since I can remember we never got along very well.

Giftless birthdays

Unpromising Christmases

Always let down

Never knowing your love

Things will never change

That's what I think

All these years later

Here we are

My Favorite Sister - Written for Danielle

Another poem for a great friend! I'm not sure if I wrote this before moving or after moving away though. I think it may have been in 1996 that I wrote this one.

A friend like you is hard to find
I turn to you during the hardest times
We've gone from happy to sad in the blink of an eye
We've gone from simple laughter to a saddening cry
You're there for me when my heart is blue
We stick together, best friends like glue
The thoughts we had we always shared
The guys we wanted didn't always care
We never fought, except about Mickey
No problem ever way too sticky
You had your bad times and I had mine
But we always made the best of time
Even if it meant we had to sing
We always got through everything
So no matter the distance far apart
I'll always consider you my sister at heart

No More - June 12th 1995

This is another poem I wrote before moving for all of my friends. It even has a dedication.

This poem is dedicated to Ryan, Wayne, John, Rob, Mike, Mickey, Danielle, Kristen, Megan, Erica, Billy & Natasha. I wish I didn't have to move. I wish I could stay with you guys forever. But no matter where anyone goes just remember there will always be a guardian angel looking over all of us to make sure we will always together in one another's hearts.

My life is shattered day by day
It will soon be gone when I move away
Moving is a difficult time for me
The sadness is hard on you I see
There will be no more running through the halls
No more chasing mmm, mmm guys through the malls
No more fun times at the dance
No more many times for one romance
No more lipstick on your cheek
No more break ups to make you weak
No more talking all about John
No more looking for someone who is gone
No more notes to pass in history
No more Danielle trying to live a fantasy
No more extremely sick jokes
No more ignoring anyone who chokes
No more talking on the phone
No more broken hearts to be sewn
Saying goodbye is hard, so I'll try not to cry
But if I do, I hope you understand why

In My Heart - Written for Erica 1995

This was written before moving for a great friend. We hated each other the year before and even fought, with lots of hair pulling and "dancing" LoL

I didn't think we'd be this good of friends
But I guess it just all depends
Remember the soap opera at Megan's house
Remember the vodka and o.j. at your house
Remember the good times and the bad times
Remember the happy times and the sad times
This summer I'll stay with you over night
Hopefully we won't ever fight
You have different interests than me
But still our friendship can truly be
In hopes our friendship will never part
I carry this friendship in my heart

Forever Friends - Written in 1995

This is another one I wrote for all of my friends before moving. These friends were my life back then. Had I not moved we would still be as close as we were in jr high (at least most of us) cause we love each other to death, flaws and all!

I didn't think life could get any worse
When your boyfriend dumps you it really hurts
Then he ignores you which is really mean
Then someone is on your side like Natasha Deane
Everyone then finds out he used me
But you wonder why Ryan would ruin reality
Then Danielle's there to make you feel better
And Kristen writes an explanatory letter
Erica tries making you better inside
And Megan runs to a corner to hide
Now you're depressed and you know you'll be
Forever, unless we have friends like you and me

Valentine's Day 1995

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm not getting any ideas
But remember I'll always love you

_________________________________

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Please be my Valentine
Cause I really love you

_________________________________

Roses are red
Dead ones are black
You would look sweet
With a knife in your back

_________________________________

Pigs are pink
Elephants are grey
You're my friend
Happy Valentine's Day!

_________________________________

Cows eat grass
Pigs eat mush
Would you please shut up
Cause you talk too much

_________________________________

Poodles are white
Dobies are black
You're too crazy
I think you're on crack

_________________________________

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Today is a special day
So happy V-day to you

_________________________________

Milk is from cows
Honey is from bees
Don't ever let me go
I'm down on bended knees

_________________________________

Nothing I Can Do - Written for Megan 1995

This is another poem I wrote for a friend before I moved.

Although you're not my best friend
I hate to see our friendship end
We always had fight after fight
No one ever knew who was right
There were also some good times too
Soon I'll be gone and won't know what to do
Anyway, I'm sorry about Anthony (the jerk)
I guess three months for him was enough work
Don't worry about the loser, he's not worth it
I shouldn't be talking, I've gone through the same shit
One more day closer to moving goes by
And everyone sits and wonders why
Why I have to move away. Why does it have to be?
Why does this tragedy have to happen to me?
No matter what I will still care about you
Even if there is nothing I can do

Memories - Written in 1995

I wrote this before moving as well. It was written for all of my jr. high friends.

The memories I have of you
Are dancing through my head
All the crazy things we did
Like jumping on my bed

Dancing at the dances
Going out with guys
Walking through the mall
Or staring at the skies

Going to the movies
Had always been a blast
Until the day we knew
That it would be our last

Skipping out of gym
To hang out in the halls
Going in the bathrooms
To write on all the walls

Hugging all our buddies
Kiss marks on your cheek
Tears that make you happy
And tears that make you weak

Eating Kool-aid plain
Or putting it in our hair
That wasn't such a good idea
But we didn't even care

Playing truth or dare
Or playing suck and blow
Going to the Playground
Or having no where to go

Having a Halloween party
Or sitting in the dark
Most of us were crazy
But some of us were smart

Even thought we acted like kids
We never should forget
The times we were obsessed
Acting like Romeo & Juliet

Remember - Written for Kristen 1995

I wrote this when I was moving from Randolph, MA to Toledo, OH. If you read this back then and it sounds different, that is because I edited it years later.

When I think of leaving I cry my heart out
But I know you hate it when I pout
Remember all the crazy times we've shared
Remember when I thought no one had cared
Remember the chocolate and the gravy too
Nobody's crazier than me and you
Remember when I was obsessed with him
Remember the quarrel with Kim
Remember the party and the food fight
Remember staying up til the middle of the night
Remember the 7th and 8th grade dances
Remember the wonderful, crazy romances
What will happen when I go away?
Who will you remember with throughout the day?
But we will always be there for each other
Even as we become mothers

Apology

I want to apologize to my only follower and my imaginary readers. I haven't been in much of a writing mood or had much time to keep up with both blogs.

However, I have been reminiscing with my old jr high friends on Facebook and have decided to come post all my old poetry. I don't care if it's dumb, childish, gay or whatever else you might think about it. This was my LIFE for years. I couldn't stop writing. I wrote about anything and everything. I wrote when I was lying in bed at night, I wrote in the middle of class, I wrote whenever anything popped into my head that I wanted to put on paper.

It's not great, and it may not even be any good. But I love the innocence and memories that come through it. And I want to share it with my friends, again. So look out for lots of new posts and I hope you stick around to read at least some of it.