Please excuse my dear Aunt Sally, for she knows not what she does
She orders around the operations, from left to right just because
Please comes first, as it always should
Excuse is next, if you would
My dear can be dear my, Aunt Sally can be Sally Aunt
But never Aunt Sally before my dear, no you really can't
Follow her rules and you won't be mistaken for a jester or a fool
It's a simple problem really when you use the PEMDAS tool
So please excuse my dear Aunt Sally, or dear my Sally Aunt, if you must
And never go wrong, at least not in math, when in the rules you trust
You make your list
Mulling over all the things you need to get done
An overwhelming sense of urgency washes over you
But you are mostly just overwhelmed
You look around at the mess
The pile of bills that need to be paid
The dishes that need to be washed
The laundry waiting to be folded
The mail without a stamp
You stand paralyzed by the neverending battle
You look back down at your list
No idea where to begin
So you don't
You distance yourself from the mess
Nothing gets crossed off the list
And the cycle begins again
This road of comfort
Path of least resistance
The easy way
Feels all wrong
Don't know where to go
Towards the unknown
Heart weighed down
Trying to find what's right
Thoughts running wild
The damage too severe
The future is a scary place
You never know what you will to find there
You get caught up in your every day
Forgetting that tomorrow is just around the corner
Somehow it still sneaks up on you
It catches you off guard
You never think about your world changing
Until it changes before your eyes
Left with a cloud of dust in your path
Trying to see the light at the other end of the tunnel
There is nothing but the unknown ahead
Fraught with worry you find a way to dredge on
Taking it one step at a time
One foot in front of the other
Until the unknown becomes your every day
Yesterday feels like a distant memory
Tomorrow a long lost friend
Until it becomes the unknown once again
You never take your eyes off that light, though
You continue to move forward with unfaltered resilience
tangled up in a web of deceit
emotions getting the better of me
pulling me further away from reality
trying so hard to hold on
my grasp slipping
my stomach twisting
my head reeling
everything feels so wrong
The silence is deafening
It leaves my mind racing
Nothing to hold on to
Grasping at thin air
Trying to hold my head high
Pretending I am not in pain
With a smile on my face
With tears in my eyes
I pick up the pieces
Being the woman everyone needs me to be
But I still need you
The easiest thing I've ever done is fall in love with you
Simple, unquestioned, raw emotion
Reality breaks through, complicating things
I watch you walk out that door
You look back for a moment
And even as my heart breaks, I know I would do it all over again
As I am going through my binder of old poetry, I realize just how pathetic I really was. HA! I wrote the cheesiest, sappiest, most ridiculous poems for the most random things. Mostly they were written about getting dumped by my boyfriend of the week or about how in love I was with said boyfriend of the week.
That makes me sound bad! I know! Really, though, they were all about boyfriends and break ups and moving. And in all honesty, they were mostly about the same few boyfriends... the important ones. The ones I actually remember now and talk to still.
However, there are a few about boyfriends that I don't even remember any more and they make me sound like a pathetic lost puppy dog. I must have put my mother through hell in my awkward, love-centric, I am going to die if you don't love me tween & teenage years. And how ironic that now I am putting the rest of the world through those same years with this blog.
I hope if nothing else you can at least get a kick out of the silliness that I wrote down on paper. The ridiculousness that spewed from my foolish love sick heart. I know I will!
I found this here while browsing the web (I did not write this but it is oh so true for so many of us that I had to share)
Today I left some dishes dirty, The bed got made around 3:30. The diapers soaked a little longer, The odor grew a little stronger. The crumbs I spilled the day before Are staring at me from the floor. The fingerprints there on the wall Will likely be there still next fall. The dirty streaks on those windowpanes Will still be there next time it rains. Shame on you, you sit and say, Just what did you do today?
I held a baby till she slept, I held a toddler while she wept. I played a game of hide and seek, I squeezed a toy so it would squeak. I pulled a wagon, sang a song, Taught a child right from wrong. What did I do this whole day through? Not much that shows, I guess that's true. Unless you think that what I've done, Might be important to someone With deep blue eyes and soft blonde hair, If that is true...I've done my share
First there's Sparky, also known as McQueen He's quite a hottie and one of the nicest I've seen Then there is Scooby, this is Mr. Lewis He's definitely wacky, but he's not Jewish We now come to G, can you guess who this is? He's the nice big guy, but not who I want to kiss And then we've got Coolio, his real name is Eric Moore Who wants a piece of that? You can forever scream "more" Finally we've got Chuckie, the big LoL Mr. Pachin He's always laughing at someone, I wonder who he's chasin' There are more managers but I am lost on nicknames Someone help me out here, I want to play some games
Oh, Teddy Bear, dear Teddy Though you've been gone these many years I recall with deep affection How you blew into my ears I can hardly keep from frowning As my heart beats really fast When I think about that afternoon Your love for me had passed
Teddy Bear, you didn't whimper And of course you didn't pout When you to reached to give me that note I knew then you had no doubt And you didn't even mumble Or emit the faintest cries You didn't even have despair As the tears filled up my eyes
Yes, you sat across their calmly And you didn't once protest When you ripped apart my heart You knew I was depressed And yet you didn't even notice When your eyes in which I stare It's been ages since you loved me How I miss you, Teddy Bear
Trapped in my heart, I just wanna die Trapped in my heart, you can see why Trapped in my heart, I love you so Trapped in my heart, you will always know Trapped in my heart, not a day goes by Trapped in my heart, I always cry If you weren't trapped in my heart, what would I do If you weren't trapped in my heart, I wouldn't love you
I always wondered what it would be like without you every day Now I know I am moving, so the night I cry away When I'm gone I know I will lose you forever more The tears will be much, much worse than the tears I cried before You say you'll always be there for me and I hope that this is true For the affection deep inside my heart only cares for you My love couldn't be so strong for anyone else you see I thought you were the only one that really cared for me In conclusion of my very continuous vow I'd like to say my love for you is forever, and especially now
I used to write poetry all the time... which is the main reason I started this blog. I just couldn't get the words to flow anymore so I quit. Oh look at that... something else I quit. (Not sure what I am talking about? Take a look at my other blog, Such Is My Life.)
Anyway, I created this blog so that I could come here and post all my old poetry with hopes of reopening that part of my brain that could write like the wind. I swear, anytime of day I could pull out a pen and paper and write. It could've been about heartache, my kids, my friends, the boys playing in the street... it didn't matter. I could write about it.
Not so much anymore, but that's ok. I still have a lot of amateur poetry that I can share with the world. Stuff I wrote from age 12 to age 28 (that is if I actually wrote anything this year haha). And right now, I am ok with that. I do not have expectations for being able to write like that again, but if I do. It would be nice.
I found this when cleaning the basement... it is actually a song that she wrote (not her first, either) but I thought what better place than here to share it :)
I'm sitting in my room being myself... yeah yeah I'm getting ready to see you tonight but You're not you today You're not you tonight I can't believe what you've done to yourself You're not you No No No No you're not you Oh yeah, you're not you
*Another that transpired from my brainstorming for a story
The door stood cracked The light was dim Unsure of what I was doing, I stood frozen I felt trapped, something was in my way My heart raced inside my chest My breathing staggered My hand trembled as I reached for the door That's when I saw you The door creaked, catching your attention My breath now trapped inside as your eyes met mine You smiled and I let it out You have always been there waiting for me I just had to find my way back in
*I wrote this a couple weeks ago when I was stressed out about the kids and them breaking/ruining things
Hands like fire Everything they touch incinerated Strength beyond their knowledge Even concrete turns to dust Water is not safe A sticky film, their secret weapon Glass cracks, wood snaps Toes like magnets No defense against this unrelenting force
*This is one of my poems that came out of me brainstorming new story ideas. Seems I am better at the poetry version, rather than the novel version :)
The rain pours down onto the empty streets The reflection of the hotel vacancy sign has an eerie feel I sit by the window, knees to my chest My heart thumps cautiously He hasn't come back yet He promised to always be here Now I am left all alone My tears matching the rain
*I was sitting in my new dr's office a few weeks ago when I wrote this
The air conditioning is blowing yet the temperature outside is chilly The tv is off making the a/c all that much louder Click, clack typing from behind the window The occasional shifting of a waiting patient Nonchalant conversations of employees with nothing to do We just wait 45 minutes past my appointment time and 1 am running out of words to occupy me The doors open and close but no one is called back Wondering if picking a doctor based on his name alone was a wise choice So far - not impressed I don't think I ever waited this long in the Army clinic The plastic bag louder than the a/c 4 people still waiting No chance of errands without kids No idea if I will get home before he has to leave again I hate waiting...
I found this hidden way inside the curio cabinet where I keep everything Abrielle related. The only thing missing is the real pictures of her from the hospital that somehow got lost between a bad breakup and moving on with our lives.
They say memories are golden, Well maybe that is true; But we never wanted memories, We only wanted you.
A million times we've needed you, A million times we've cried. If love alone could have saved you, You never would have died.
In life we loved you dearly, In death we love you still. In our hearts you hold a special place No one else could ever fill.
If tears could build a staircase, And heartache build a land, We'd walk the path to heaven And bring you back again.
Our family chain is broken And nothing seems the same, But as God calls us one by one, The chain will link again.
I wrote this poem in 1999 after losing my daughter at 26wks pregnant
Even though I never met you You were still a part of my life I loved you more than anything You were the most important thing to me You were with me when no one else was You listened whenever I needed to talk And I never got to hear you cry And I never got to see you smile But even though I didn't know you I'm still going to miss you very much And I'll still love you with all of my heart
Anything I write here is my own original work unless otherwise stated. If I do not have a story to tell with the poetry that usually means that I have written it here, straight from my head to my blog. They are raw, unedited and probably suck. Older poetry probably sucks too, as I wrote a lot of it as a young teenager. I write from my heart. I write what I am feeling and what I hear around me. Some of it can be analyzed, some of it just says it like it is. I am not perfect, nor is my poetry.