Teddy Bear - 1995

Oh, Teddy Bear, dear Teddy
Though you've been gone these many years
I recall with deep affection
How you blew into my ears
I can hardly keep from frowning
As my heart beats really fast
When I think about that afternoon
Your love for me had passed

Teddy Bear, you didn't whimper
And of course you didn't pout
When you to reached to give me that note
I knew then you had no doubt
And you didn't even mumble
Or emit the faintest cries
You didn't even have despair
As the tears filled up my eyes

Yes, you sat across their calmly
And you didn't once protest
When you ripped apart my heart
You knew I was depressed
And yet you didn't even notice
When your eyes in which I stare
It's been ages since you loved me
How I miss you, Teddy Bear

My Romeo - 1995

You dream of love so everlasting
Just open your eyes
I can love you just like that
I do hear your cries

You have got what I need
I wish I were loved by you
To have your love is enough for me
I wish my dreams would come true

At once I believed in dreams
I thought that they could come true
But I guess I was wrong
Cause I'm still living without you

One more thing I have to say
And I never want you to forget
I would die for you
Cause you're my Romeo and I'm your Juliet

Trapped In My Heart - 1995

Written in junior high, as most of my poetry was

Trapped in my heart, I just wanna die
Trapped in my heart, you can see why
Trapped in my heart, I love you so
Trapped in my heart, you will always know
Trapped in my heart, not a day goes by
Trapped in my heart, I always cry
If you weren't trapped in my heart, what would I do
If you weren't trapped in my heart, I wouldn't love you

A Vow of Love

Written in 1995

I always wondered what it would be like without you every day
Now I know I am moving, so the night I cry away
When I'm gone I know I will lose you forever more
The tears will be much, much worse than the tears I cried before
You say you'll always be there for me and I hope that this is true
For the affection deep inside my heart only cares for you
My love couldn't be so strong for anyone else you see
I thought you were the only one that really cared for me
In conclusion of my very continuous vow
I'd like to say my love for you is forever, and especially now

In the Past

I used to write poetry all the time... which is the main reason I started this blog. I just couldn't get the words to flow anymore so I quit. Oh look at that... something else I quit. (Not sure what I am talking about? Take a look at my other blog, Such Is My Life.)

Anyway, I created this blog so that I could come here and post all my old poetry with hopes of reopening that part of my brain that could write like the wind. I swear, anytime of day I could pull out a pen and paper and write. It could've been about heartache, my kids, my friends, the boys playing in the street... it didn't matter. I could write about it.

Not so much anymore, but that's ok. I still have a lot of amateur poetry that I can share with the world. Stuff I wrote from age 12 to age 28 (that is if I actually wrote anything this year haha). And right now, I am ok with that. I do not have expectations for being able to write like that again, but if I do. It would be nice.

You're Not You by Lexi

I found this when cleaning the basement... it is actually a song that she wrote (not her first, either) but I thought what better place than here to share it :)

I'm sitting in my room being myself... yeah yeah
I'm getting ready to see you tonight but
You're not you today
You're not you tonight
I can't believe what you've done to yourself
You're not you
No No No
No you're not you
Oh yeah, you're not you

Finding My Way

*Another that transpired from my brainstorming for a story

The door stood cracked
The light was dim
Unsure of what I was doing, I stood frozen
I felt trapped, something was in my way
My heart raced inside my chest
My breathing staggered
My hand trembled as I reached for the door
That's when I saw you
The door creaked, catching your attention
My breath now trapped inside as your eyes met mine
You smiled and I let it out
You have always been there waiting for me
I just had to find my way back in

The Wrath of Five

*I wrote this a couple weeks ago when I was stressed out about the kids and them breaking/ruining things

Hands like fire
Everything they touch incinerated
Strength beyond their knowledge
Even concrete turns to dust
Water is not safe
A sticky film, their secret weapon
Glass cracks, wood snaps
Toes like magnets
No defense against this unrelenting force

Untitled

*This is one of my poems that came out of me brainstorming new story ideas. Seems I am better at the poetry version, rather than the novel version :)

The rain pours down onto the empty streets
The reflection of the hotel vacancy sign has an eerie feel
I sit by the window, knees to my chest
My heart thumps cautiously
He hasn't come back yet
He promised to always be here
Now I am left all alone
My tears matching the rain

Waiting

*I was sitting in my new dr's office a few weeks ago when I wrote this

The air conditioning is blowing yet the temperature outside is chilly
The tv is off making the a/c all that much louder
Click, clack typing from behind the window
The occasional shifting of a waiting patient
Nonchalant conversations of employees with nothing to do
We just wait
45 minutes past my appointment time and 1 am running out of words to occupy me
The doors open and close but no one is called back
Wondering if picking a doctor based on his name alone was a wise choice
So far - not impressed
I don't think I ever waited this long in the Army clinic
The plastic bag louder than the a/c
4 people still waiting
No chance of errands without kids
No idea if I will get home before he has to leave again
I hate waiting...

As Clear as Mud

As bright as day
As dark as night
Opposites that become one

The signs all around
No signs at all
Opposites that become one

Good friend today
Bad friend tomorrow
Opposites that become one

Breathing today
Tomorrow unknown
Opposites that become one

Headaches Suck

Headache, headache
Go AWAY!
Don't come back
Any other day!

The Work Week

Monday dragged on like a legal brief
Tuesday was a crazy day
Wednesday didn't have enough hours
Thursday was a lazy day
Friday brought with it plenty of relief

The Misunderstanding

I opened his mail...
It was from another woman

She signed with a heart...
Does it mean something more?

Her words ringing in my head...
What is going on here?

This is unacceptable...
Why can't she just mind her own business?

Untitled

Small talk is too small
The words feel so insignificant
My heart aches with memories of the past

When friends could joke
We would laugh all night long
Making each other smile was so simple

Those times are rare now
Few and far between
But when they happen, they are so good

You always did know how to make me smile

Memories by Jennifer Graham

I found this hidden way inside the curio cabinet where I keep everything Abrielle related. The only thing missing is the real pictures of her from the hospital that somehow got lost between a bad breakup and moving on with our lives.

They say memories are golden,
Well maybe that is true;
But we never wanted memories,
We only wanted you.

A million times we've needed you,
A million times we've cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.

In life we loved you dearly,
In death we love you still.
In our hearts you hold a special place
No one else could ever fill.

If tears could build a staircase,
And heartache build a land,
We'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

Abrielle

I wrote this poem in 1999 after losing my daughter at 26wks pregnant

Even though I never met you
You were still a part of my life
I loved you more than anything
You were the most important thing to me
You were with me when no one else was
You listened whenever I needed to talk
And I never got to hear you cry
And I never got to see you smile
But even though I didn't know you
I'm still going to miss you very much
And I'll still love you with all of my heart

No Title Would Be Good Enough

All these years I have placed the blame on myself
The 'what ifs' flood my mind
Could things have been different?

I've always said that everything happens for a reason, and I stick by that
It is hard though, to see the why, to understand when it hurts so much

And as much as I want to think something could have been done
Losing her, losing him... it was inevitable

This is a Poem

I wrote this on a whim to show Lexi an example of how to write poetry

The night was long
Sleep would not come
I lie awake
I stare into the dark
Waiting on my dreams

Lexi's Tongue Twisters (A-M)

Ashley's Apples Are Awesome At Ashley's Apple Apartment

Ben's Best Buddy's name is Barry

Callie's Cries Crack Cory up

Dill Doesn't Desire Doing Dishes During the Day

Ellie's Elephant Eats Eight Eggs Every Evening

Fred's Freckled Father Fries French Fries

Gary Got Great Grades in Geometry

Harold and Harris love Homemade Hashbrowns

Ian Is In his Icy Igloo In Iceland

Jacob does Jumping Jacks in the Jungle Gym

Kadie eats Kix so she Can Kick Kids

Lexi Loves Little Lillies in the Little meadow

Millie Milks cows to Make Money