You're A Poet and Didn't Know It

Untitled

2011-10-12T20:21:00.003-05:00

You say the right things

You make me smile

Life before you was just okay

But with you,

I breathe a little deeper

I love a little longer

I see a little clearer

You brighten the night

You unbreak my heart

Being with you is easy

Insanity

2011-10-12T20:17:00.003-05:00

stuck

screaming

can't break free

I need a release

love

lust

no worries

no expectancies

truth

lies

Where am I going?

no where

I am stuck

I am screaming

I can't break free

insanity

Everyday Hero

2011-10-12T20:04:00.002-05:00

hold my hand

crush my fears

touch my cheek

hide my tears

accept my flaws

treat me right

say you love me

save my life

Back to Square One

2011-09-15T17:17:00.002-05:00

Something isn't right

My world has shifted

Everything that was

Cannot be found

Time stands still

My heart aches

What happened to us

Is haunting me

The past is repeated

My trust broken

Hurting again

Words cannot express

Seeing, Believing, Denying

2011-09-14T09:44:00.002-05:00

I saw what I saw

I see what I see

The truth is not good enough for me

I know you are weak

I wish I were blind

cause my heart can't take another lie

so I live in denial

I prefer ignorant bliss

just wish you thought I was better than this

September 11th 2001 - Crystal Grey

2011-09-11T21:12:00.003-05:00

This was a poem written by another military wife. While my words failed me, she came up with this.

Two towers came crashing down

Four planes hit the ground

Heroes fought

but Lives were Lost

They wanted to destroy us. They wanted us to go away.

But we are here to stay! We will not go away!

We will never forget that day!

You're Scared - Written in Jr High

2011-09-10T05:51:00.002-05:00

This was written prior to me moving from Massachusetts to Ohio in 1995

I know the reason you broke up with me

You were scared our love again could be

You're afraid of getting hurt on the day

The day I have to move away

You're scared to lose me forever

You don't want to be hurt by me, not ever

The only thing you could possibly do

Was to hurt me, so it wasn't you

So you turned around and left me

Now I think I finally see

You didn't really want or love me

You just went and used me

But I understand and I see

You did it to make me happy

So Pathetic

2011-09-09T16:59:00.002-05:00

As I am going through my binder of old poetry, I realize just how pathetic I really was. HA! I wrote the cheesiest, sappiest, most ridiculous poems for the most random things. Mostly they were written about getting dumped by my boyfriend of the week or about how in love I was with said boyfriend of the week.

That makes me sound bad! I know! Really, though, they were all about boyfriends and break ups and moving. And in all honesty, they were mostly about the same few boyfriends... the important ones. The ones I actually remember now and talk to still.

However, there are a few about boyfriends that I don't even remember any more and they make me sound like a pathetic lost puppy dog. I must have put my mother through hell in my awkward, love-centric, I am going to die if you don't love me tween & teenage years. And how ironic that now I am putting the rest of the world through those same years with this blog.

I hope if nothing else you can at least get a kick out of the silliness that I wrote down on paper. The ridiculousness that spewed from my foolish love sick heart. I know I will!

What Did I Do Today?

2010-06-10T16:43:00.001-05:00

I found this here while browsing the web (I did not write this but it is oh so true for so many of us that I had to share)

Today I left some dishes dirty,
The bed got made around 3:30.
The diapers soaked a little longer,
The odor grew a little stronger.
The crumbs I spilled the day before
Are staring at me from the floor.
The fingerprints there on the wall
Will likely be there still next fall.
The dirty streaks on those windowpanes
Will still be there next time it rains.
Shame on you, you sit and say,
Just what did you do today?

I held a baby till she slept,
I held a toddler while she wept.
I played a game of hide and seek,
I squeezed a toy so it would squeak.
I pulled a wagon, sang a song,
Taught a child right from wrong.
What did I do this whole day through?
Not much that shows, I guess that's true.
Unless you think that what I've done,
Might be important to someone
With deep blue eyes and soft blonde hair,
If that is true...I've done my share

Work Randomness - 1998

2009-11-26T08:25:00.000-06:00

Written when I was working at Showcase Maumee

First there's Sparky, also known as McQueen
He's quite a hottie and one of the nicest I've seen
Then there is Scooby, this is Mr. Lewis
He's definitely wacky, but he's not Jewish
We now come to G, can you guess who this is?
He's the nice big guy, but not who I want to kiss
And then we've got Coolio, his real name is Eric Moore
Who wants a piece of that? You can forever scream "more"
Finally we've got Chuckie, the big LoL Mr. Pachin
He's always laughing at someone, I wonder who he's chasin'
There are more managers but I am lost on nicknames
Someone help me out here, I want to play some games

Why

2009-11-25T08:18:00.000-06:00

Written sometime in jr high

Another night I go to bed crying
Another day I wake up trying
Trying to get your love for me
Why won't you fulfill my fantasy?

I sit here and wonder, why, oh why
What did I do to make you say goodbye?
I don't understand the way you think
It didn't help going to that shrink

Another night I'll go to bed and cry
Another day I'll wake up and try
But why do I waste my time on you?
You'll never make my dreams come true

Teddy Bear - 1995

2009-11-24T08:11:00.001-06:00

Oh, Teddy Bear, dear Teddy
Though you've been gone these many years
I recall with deep affection
How you blew into my ears
I can hardly keep from frowning
As my heart beats really fast
When I think about that afternoon
Your love for me had passed

Teddy Bear, you didn't whimper
And of course you didn't pout
When you to reached to give me that note
I knew then you had no doubt
And you didn't even mumble
Or emit the faintest cries
You didn't even have despair
As the tears filled up my eyes

Yes, you sat across their calmly
And you didn't once protest
When you ripped apart my heart
You knew I was depressed
And yet you didn't even notice
When your eyes in which I stare
It's been ages since you loved me
How I miss you, Teddy Bear

My Romeo - 1995

2009-11-23T08:07:00.000-06:00

You dream of love so everlasting
Just open your eyes
I can love you just like that
I do hear your cries

You have got what I need
I wish I were loved by you
To have your love is enough for me
I wish my dreams would come true

At once I believed in dreams
I thought that they could come true
But I guess I was wrong
Cause I'm still living without you

One more thing I have to say
And I never want you to forget
I would die for you
Cause you're my Romeo and I'm your Juliet

Trapped In My Heart - 1995

2009-11-22T20:04:00.002-06:00

Written in junior high, as most of my poetry was

Trapped in my heart, I just wanna die
Trapped in my heart, you can see why
Trapped in my heart, I love you so
Trapped in my heart, you will always know
Trapped in my heart, not a day goes by
Trapped in my heart, I always cry
If you weren't trapped in my heart, what would I do
If you weren't trapped in my heart, I wouldn't love you

A Vow of Love

2009-11-22T19:54:00.002-06:00

Written in 1995

I always wondered what it would be like without you every day
Now I know I am moving, so the night I cry away
When I'm gone I know I will lose you forever more
The tears will be much, much worse than the tears I cried before
You say you'll always be there for me and I hope that this is true
For the affection deep inside my heart only cares for you
My love couldn't be so strong for anyone else you see
I thought you were the only one that really cared for me
In conclusion of my very continuous vow
I'd like to say my love for you is forever, and especially now

In the Past

2009-11-22T07:33:00.002-06:00

I used to write poetry all the time... which is the main reason I started this blog. I just couldn't get the words to flow anymore so I quit. Oh look at that... something else I quit. (Not sure what I am talking about? Take a look at my other blog, Such Is My Life.)

Anyway, I created this blog so that I could come here and post all my old poetry with hopes of reopening that part of my brain that could write like the wind. I swear, anytime of day I could pull out a pen and paper and write. It could've been about heartache, my kids, my friends, the boys playing in the street... it didn't matter. I could write about it.

Not so much anymore, but that's ok. I still have a lot of amateur poetry that I can share with the world. Stuff I wrote from age 12 to age 28 (that is if I actually wrote anything this year haha). And right now, I am ok with that. I do not have expectations for being able to write like that again, but if I do. It would be nice.

You're Not You by Lexi

2009-09-21T16:10:00.003-05:00

I found this when cleaning the basement... it is actually a song that she wrote (not her first, either) but I thought what better place than here to share it :)

I'm sitting in my room being myself... yeah yeah
I'm getting ready to see you tonight but
You're not you today
You're not you tonight
I can't believe what you've done to yourself
You're not you
No No No
No you're not you
Oh yeah, you're not you

Finding My Way

2009-09-10T14:06:00.003-05:00

*Another that transpired from my brainstorming for a story

The door stood cracked
The light was dim
Unsure of what I was doing, I stood frozen
I felt trapped, something was in my way
My heart raced inside my chest
My breathing staggered
My hand trembled as I reached for the door
That's when I saw you
The door creaked, catching your attention
My breath now trapped inside as your eyes met mine
You smiled and I let it out
You have always been there waiting for me
I just had to find my way back in

The Wrath of Five

2009-09-08T16:19:00.003-05:00

*I wrote this a couple weeks ago when I was stressed out about the kids and them breaking/ruining things

Hands like fire
Everything they touch incinerated
Strength beyond their knowledge
Even concrete turns to dust
Water is not safe
A sticky film, their secret weapon
Glass cracks, wood snaps
Toes like magnets
No defense against this unrelenting force

Untitled

2009-09-08T16:17:00.003-05:00

*This is one of my poems that came out of me brainstorming new story ideas. Seems I am better at the poetry version, rather than the novel version :)

The rain pours down onto the empty streets
The reflection of the hotel vacancy sign has an eerie feel
I sit by the window, knees to my chest
My heart thumps cautiously
He hasn't come back yet
He promised to always be here
Now I am left all alone
My tears matching the rain

Waiting

2009-09-08T15:53:00.003-05:00

*I was sitting in my new dr's office a few weeks ago when I wrote this

The air conditioning is blowing yet the temperature outside is chilly
The tv is off making the a/c all that much louder
Click, clack typing from behind the window
The occasional shifting of a waiting patient
Nonchalant conversations of employees with nothing to do
We just wait
45 minutes past my appointment time and 1 am running out of words to occupy me
The doors open and close but no one is called back
Wondering if picking a doctor based on his name alone was a wise choice
So far - not impressed
I don't think I ever waited this long in the Army clinic
The plastic bag louder than the a/c
4 people still waiting
No chance of errands without kids
No idea if I will get home before he has to leave again
I hate waiting...

As Clear as Mud

2009-05-21T16:28:00.003-05:00

As bright as day
As dark as night
Opposites that become one

The signs all around
No signs at all
Opposites that become one

Good friend today
Bad friend tomorrow
Opposites that become one

Breathing today
Tomorrow unknown
Opposites that become one

Headaches Suck

2009-05-05T15:34:00.000-05:00

Headache, headache
Go AWAY!
Don't come back
Any other day!

The Work Week

2009-04-24T10:28:00.000-05:00

Monday dragged on like a legal brief
Tuesday was a crazy day
Wednesday didn't have enough hours
Thursday was a lazy day
Friday brought with it plenty of relief

The Misunderstanding

2009-04-23T10:18:00.000-05:00

I opened his mail...
It was from another woman

She signed with a heart...
Does it mean something more?

Her words ringing in my head...
What is going on here?

This is unacceptable...
Why can't she just mind her own business?

Untitled

2009-04-19T10:33:00.000-05:00

Small talk is too small
The words feel so insignificant
My heart aches with memories of the past

When friends could joke
We would laugh all night long
Making each other smile was so simple

Those times are rare now
Few and far between
But when they happen, they are so good

You always did know how to make me smile

Memories by Jennifer Graham

2009-04-16T07:06:00.000-05:00

I found this hidden way inside the curio cabinet where I keep everything Abrielle related. The only thing missing is the real pictures of her from the hospital that somehow got lost between a bad breakup and moving on with our lives.

They say memories are golden,
Well maybe that is true;
But we never wanted memories,
We only wanted you.

A million times we've needed you,
A million times we've cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.

In life we loved you dearly,
In death we love you still.
In our hearts you hold a special place
No one else could ever fill.

If tears could build a staircase,
And heartache build a land,
We'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

Abrielle

2009-04-16T07:02:00.000-05:00

I wrote this poem in 1999 after losing my daughter at 26wks pregnant

Even though I never met you
You were still a part of my life
I loved you more than anything
You were the most important thing to me
You were with me when no one else was
You listened whenever I needed to talk
And I never got to hear you cry
And I never got to see you smile
But even though I didn't know you
I'm still going to miss you very much
And I'll still love you with all of my heart

No Title Would Be Good Enough

2009-04-15T12:47:00.001-05:00

All these years I have placed the blame on myself
The 'what ifs' flood my mind
Could things have been different?

I've always said that everything happens for a reason, and I stick by that
It is hard though, to see the why, to understand when it hurts so much

And as much as I want to think something could have been done
Losing her, losing him... it was inevitable

This is a Poem

2009-04-13T19:40:00.000-05:00

I wrote this on a whim to show Lexi an example of how to write poetry

The night was long
Sleep would not come
I lie awake
I stare into the dark
Waiting on my dreams

Lexi's Tongue Twisters (A-M)

2009-04-13T19:26:00.000-05:00

Ashley's Apples Are Awesome At Ashley's Apple Apartment

Ben's Best Buddy's name is Barry

Callie's Cries Crack Cory up

Dill Doesn't Desire Doing Dishes During the Day

Ellie's Elephant Eats Eight Eggs Every Evening

Fred's Freckled Father Fries French Fries

Gary Got Great Grades in Geometry

Harold and Harris love Homemade Hashbrowns

Ian Is In his Icy Igloo In Iceland

Jacob does Jumping Jacks in the Jungle Gym

Kadie eats Kix so she Can Kick Kids

Lexi Loves Little Lillies in the Little meadow

Millie Milks cows to Make Money

A Poem by Jacob

2009-03-03T08:35:00.000-06:00

I found this when I was attempting to clean off the computer desk. I am not sure if it is actually a poem, but I thought it would make a nice post on this blog...

a rectangle
bright
flat
up high
and white

Punishment

2009-02-17T19:01:00.000-06:00

The kids were not listening
The punishment was simple
No movie in the car
We stopped for dinner
Sonic, for the first time
For an hour they screamed
Who was I punishing?

From the Outside In

2009-02-17T17:00:00.000-06:00

There she sits, her hair unkempt
Still in the teeshirt she had on yesterday
Her house is in shambles
The kids are undressed
Homework lays strewn across the tables
A laughing baby in the background
Her heart as heavy as a brick
She thinks of all that she has accomplished, the list is short
Someone has it better, someone has more
She wishes she was more

Falling in Love - July 1997

2009-02-09T13:52:00.001-06:00

When you fall in love, it's just that, falling
You don't have any or much control
When you fall in love once, it's for life
But the second time, you know it's for all eternity
The longer you keep in touch with this person the love increases
It gets to the point of over ruling and no return
If you've been falling for less than a year, there is still hope
But when you are close to four years, you know this fall is never ending
You struggle and struggle to find a way of return
But you always find yourself falling back into their arms
When this person looks at you, you see passion in their eyes
Not only from you to them, but then back again
You think it may be coincidental or just harmless play or flirting
But deep down in your heart and soul you know this person loves you
It's not just a friendly love, but a passionate, never ending love
They've fallen like a rock, just like you did
Now this fall is continuing in the darkness of the night
Neither one of these rocks will hit a surface, whether hard or soft
Until both of you come forth and open your hearts to one another
Take that step forward and let each other know how you feel
And then, and only then will your fall come to a surface
When you hit a hard surface, you know this person wants to be nothing more than friends
But if and when you hit that soft surface
I hope then you both can find the deep passion of eternal love
And continue your fall together into the sunset

You're Scared - 1995

2009-02-09T13:43:00.000-06:00

I know the reason you broke up with me
You were scared again our love could be
You're afraid of getting hurt on the day
The day I have to move away
You're scared to lose me forever
You don't want to be hurt, no not ever
The only thing you could possibly do
Was to hurt me, so it's not you
So you turned around and dumped me
I thought the answer was plain to see
You didn't want or love me
You just went and used me
But now I think I understand and see
You did it to make me happy

Love and Hate - Written in Jr. High

2009-02-09T13:40:00.000-06:00

Love can leave you in a fantasy
Love is sometimes hard to see
Love can take you far from me
Love can sometimes never be

Love is a pain that will make you cry
Love is so strong sometimes you could die
Love can sometimes be really shy
Love can make you want to fly

Hate is a pain I will never feel for you
Hate is when I don't know what to do
Hate from you makes me sad and blue
Hate is why you don't have a clue

Love and hate can both kill you
Love or hate, what should I do?

Me Not You - Written in Jr. High

2009-02-09T13:37:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I wish our love never existed
Then maybe those brown eyes could be resisted
I don't want to believe any of the lies
Cause then the tears will fill up my eyes
The tears then fall upon my cheek
Suddenly I become extremely weak
You had to go break my heart in two
It's always me, but never you
Nothing to me could ever come from your heart
Every thing you say tears me apart
There is only one thing left for me to do
To say the words I still love you

The Walk of the Moon - Written in Junior High

2009-02-09T13:32:00.000-06:00

Summer nights will be here soon
Together we'll walk in the light of the moon
Walking along on a deserted beach
Once again for my hands you will reach
I'll look in your eyes with an affectionate stare
To lose you again I could never bare
Then I suddenly open my eyes
I hear the softest, faintest cries
The silent tears inside my head
The misery as I lie in bed
I realize then it wasn't reality
My moonlit walk was a fantasy

My Baby - 1997

2009-02-09T13:30:00.001-06:00

If I look in your eyes I fall deep inside
I try to run but there's nowhere to hide
Wherever I am you're always there
Looking at me with a deep, hard stare
I'm in love with you, you know I am
That's why it's so difficult to face you
I wanna be with you but there is no way
I think about you every day
What we had, was it really true?
Or was it just a game for you?
Tell me that you loved me so
Even after I had to go
Say you still love me, even maybe
Cause you're the one that I called baby

In Love With a Friend - Year Unknown

2009-02-09T13:24:00.000-06:00

This poem was written in high school I believe. I just want to put a disclaimer that I was not underage drinking or getting high ever. I just used some of those things in my poems for rhyming reasons.

Our love is the kind of love that never ends
Which means that we will always be friends
Through thick water and through thin
Even after a glass of gin
We can be drunk or even high
Or sailing through the open sky
Take my hand and don't let me go
Friends forever we both will know
In the sunlight or the pouring rain
If we are together there will be no pain
Through the good times and the bad times
Through the stories and through the rhymes
To be friends or to be in love
That's the question I'm faced with
So just hold me close and don't let me go
You're here for me I will always know

I Love You, I Want You, I Need You - 1995

2009-02-09T13:21:00.000-06:00

Love is spelled L-O-V-E
I wish that's what you felt towards me
Love connects two people as one
Your love for me is gone and done
When I look in your eyes I don't see me anymore
Please give me one more chance before I walk out the door
I love you, I want you, I need you
Believe me, everything I say is true
I'm gonna be gone forever and ever
We won't have a chance to be together
Promise me if you love me again
We can share our love until the end

Eyes of Amber - Written in High School

2009-02-09T13:15:00.000-06:00

I wrote this in high school about a guy I had a crush on for a long time.

My tongue would be tied if you were standing before me
Looking in your eyes you'd be the only person I would see
With time standing still and fate on my side
I'd try my best to tell you how I felt and have nothing to hide
But you make it so difficult for me when I don't know how you feel
I need to know if the things I see aren't pretend but real
With your eyes being amber and your smile so sweet
I wonder if its time to wave the flag and call defeat
Looking in your eyes I become instantly hypnotized
Not worrying if what you say is the truth or mere lies
Don't back away because your feelings are so strong
They may be right, they are not always wrong
And it doesn't even matter
With you having eyes of amber

The Ring of the Alarm - October 2002

2009-02-09T12:55:00.000-06:00

I wrote this for a poetry class I took in college.

so much depends
upon

the ring of the
alarm

pulling back the
blankets

arousing us from
slumber

Desire - year unknown

2009-02-06T16:18:00.000-06:00

desire
now makes curiosity
reach
grasped
silky skin
pushing the rain
feel the love
slipping into her

Sher-Bear - Written by Kathy

2009-02-06T16:10:00.000-06:00

This is a poem written by my mom's cousin, Kathy, in honor of my aunt Sherry. She was killed in a motorcycle accident in 2004. She was 43 and a breast cancer survivor.

You went to sleep so peacefully

And woke up at Heaven's door

Your darkness has been replaced

By a light

That will shine forever more

We'll see that light

When we think of you

Even though our hearts will cry

Knowing Heaven has our "Sher-Bear"

To brighten Eternity's sky

Now Heaven's been graced

With your sunshine

Now Heaven's been blessed

With your style

Now each time we glance toward Heaven

We will think of your beautiful smile

You went to sleep so peacefully

Not long after your storm came through

Your fight this time

Was far too great

That's why Heaven sent for you

They say that God only takes the best

And now we know that's true

Because "Sher-Bear"

For no other reason

Would He take an Angel like you.

Someone Else - 1995

2009-02-06T16:03:00.000-06:00

I have so much love for you
My love could never be for someone else
I sit here everyday and think of what to do
Since I think your love is for someone else
So tell me that our is true
Cause you tell me your love isn't for someone else
I think I can believe you for now that's right
Cause your love isn't for someone else
At least that's what I think so let's not fight
Cause our love isn't for anyone else

With You - 3/30/2000

2009-02-06T15:57:00.000-06:00

I spend every waking moment with you but still it isn't enough
Being in your arms and feeling your touch is a happiness beyond words
I feel so special knowing you love me
Your strength gives me strength and I never want to let go
Looking into your eyes I can't help but smile, I can see your love
To be with you is all I wish for
No amount of money or possessions could ever replace the love I have for you
I want nothing more than to spend all of eternity in your arms
And if you and I were merely a dream, I would never want to wake up

Devil Pride - 8/25/99

2009-02-06T15:51:00.000-06:00

Just because you think you can't go on, doesn't mean you don't have the power
Just ask a Blue Devil, cause they aren't cowards
The Devils may look weak, but that's only the beginning
If you look down deeper, you'll see I'm not kidding
The Devils get knocked down but they keep on fighting
Cause with all their fan power they keep on biting
It's up to you to bring out the devil in you
I know you have it, that's why you wear the white and blue

With This I Promise - 5/1/2000

2009-02-06T15:47:00.000-06:00

To walk into a room and not be with you makes me completely lost
Having an entire bed to myself keeps me up most of the night
Just looking at you puts a smile on my face that anyone can see
Thinking about makes my whole body melt
If I were to have to live without you I am not sure how I would manage
Only you can keep me from going totally insane
So for you to even contemplate leaving me tears me apart
I know are different than anyone else, that is why I am with you
But to be hurt so much already hurts even worse
So with this I promise to never let you go
As long as you stay with me for all eternity

The Thought of Losing - 8/16/2000

2009-02-06T15:42:00.000-06:00

You say you know what it is like to lose something. To have something taken away from you and to you it seems unfair. But most of the time you haven't even been through half of what you think you understood. The things that happen to other people and you say, "I know what it's like. I can relate. I understand." Simple words of sympathy to make someone feel like they are not alone. But in all actuality can you feel what they are feeling at the exact moment they are feeling it... probably not. Because if you've even experienced that disappointment, even just yesterday, you won't feel as bad as they do today.

And when someone is scared of losing something or someone or just scared in general, you try to comfort them, tell them everything will be alright. But who is to say that. Who knows for sure. No one does and that is even scarier. Because when you are afraid of losing what means the most to you or you are afraid of being a nobody, you cant do anything to change how you feel. Because no matter what you have no idea what can and will happen. And just the plain thought of losing is scary enough.

Daydream - 95/96

2009-02-06T15:38:00.000-06:00

I sit and listen to the rain
It seems to fade the sense of pain
The sense that he doesn't love me anymore
If only I could be back home on the shore
My dreams will come true if I only believe
All my hopes that someday I will achieve
So I close my eyes and think of the day
I can be there forever, to stay
I dream of the day I move back there
Wondering if anyone would even care
With so many tears in my eyes
I will be back home and hear happy cries

Revenge - year unknown

2009-02-06T15:34:00.000-06:00

Hit in the face with an apple pie
You're so embarrassed you want to die
You gran the towel to wipe off your eyes
You're laughing so hard you start to cry

Everyone's laughing
Your friends too
You're so embarrassed
You don't know what to do

You look at your friend
"How about you?"
You picked up a pie
Only if she knew

Knew what it's like to be hit in the face
Know what it's like to be in your place

You pick up three pies
Maybe even four
You hit her with all
Before she got out the door

No Chance - 1995

2009-02-06T15:31:00.000-06:00

I wrote a lot of poems about boyfriends, boys I wanted to be my boyfriends, and boyfriends that broke my heart. This is just one of the many.

I know I love you and I see
You're too good to be with me
You're always nice and always kind
But I know you will never be mine
I see you everyday, I always stare
I wonder if there is a love we can share
But no, we cannot ever be
I know you will never love me

Thoughtless Love - 2002

2009-02-06T15:25:00.000-06:00

I wrote this one about my relationship with my dad. Ever since I can remember we never got along very well.

Giftless birthdays

Unpromising Christmases

Always let down

Never knowing your love

Things will never change

That's what I think

All these years later

Here we are

My Favorite Sister - Written for Danielle

2009-02-05T08:54:00.001-06:00

Another poem for a great friend! I'm not sure if I wrote this before moving or after moving away though. I think it may have been in 1996 that I wrote this one.

A friend like you is hard to find
I turn to you during the hardest times
We've gone from happy to sad in the blink of an eye
We've gone from simple laughter to a saddening cry
You're there for me when my heart is blue
We stick together, best friends like glue
The thoughts we had we always shared
The guys we wanted didn't always care
We never fought, except about Mickey
No problem ever way too sticky
You had your bad times and I had mine
But we always made the best of time
Even if it meant we had to sing
We always got through everything
So no matter the distance far apart
I'll always consider you my sister at heart

No More - June 12th 1995

2009-02-05T08:41:00.001-06:00

This is another poem I wrote before moving for all of my friends. It even has a dedication.

This poem is dedicated to Ryan, Wayne, John, Rob, Mike, Mickey, Danielle, Kristen, Megan, Erica, Billy & Natasha. I wish I didn't have to move. I wish I could stay with you guys forever. But no matter where anyone goes just remember there will always be a guardian angel looking over all of us to make sure we will always together in one another's hearts.

My life is shattered day by day
It will soon be gone when I move away
Moving is a difficult time for me
The sadness is hard on you I see
There will be no more running through the halls
No more chasing mmm, mmm guys through the malls
No more fun times at the dance
No more many times for one romance
No more lipstick on your cheek
No more break ups to make you weak
No more talking all about John
No more looking for someone who is gone
No more notes to pass in history
No more Danielle trying to live a fantasy
No more extremely sick jokes
No more ignoring anyone who chokes
No more talking on the phone
No more broken hearts to be sewn
Saying goodbye is hard, so I'll try not to cry
But if I do, I hope you understand why

In My Heart - Written for Erica 1995

2009-02-05T08:36:00.000-06:00

This was written before moving for a great friend. We hated each other the year before and even fought, with lots of hair pulling and "dancing" LoL

I didn't think we'd be this good of friends
But I guess it just all depends
Remember the soap opera at Megan's house
Remember the vodka and o.j. at your house
Remember the good times and the bad times
Remember the happy times and the sad times
This summer I'll stay with you over night
Hopefully we won't ever fight
You have different interests than me
But still our friendship can truly be
In hopes our friendship will never part
I carry this friendship in my heart

Forever Friends - Written in 1995

2009-02-05T08:32:00.000-06:00

This is another one I wrote for all of my friends before moving. These friends were my life back then. Had I not moved we would still be as close as we were in jr high (at least most of us) cause we love each other to death, flaws and all!

I didn't think life could get any worse
When your boyfriend dumps you it really hurts
Then he ignores you which is really mean
Then someone is on your side like Natasha Deane
Everyone then finds out he used me
But you wonder why Ryan would ruin reality
Then Danielle's there to make you feel better
And Kristen writes an explanatory letter
Erica tries making you better inside
And Megan runs to a corner to hide
Now you're depressed and you know you'll be
Forever, unless we have friends like you and me

Valentine's Day 1995

2009-02-05T08:27:00.001-06:00

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm not getting any ideas
But remember I'll always love you

_________________________________

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Please be my Valentine
Cause I really love you

_________________________________

Roses are red
Dead ones are black
You would look sweet
With a knife in your back

_________________________________

Pigs are pink
Elephants are grey
You're my friend
Happy Valentine's Day!

_________________________________

Cows eat grass
Pigs eat mush
Would you please shut up
Cause you talk too much

_________________________________

Poodles are white
Dobies are black
You're too crazy
I think you're on crack

_________________________________

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Today is a special day
So happy V-day to you

_________________________________

Milk is from cows
Honey is from bees
Don't ever let me go
I'm down on bended knees

_________________________________

Nothing I Can Do - Written for Megan 1995

2009-02-05T08:23:00.000-06:00

This is another poem I wrote for a friend before I moved.

Although you're not my best friend
I hate to see our friendship end
We always had fight after fight
No one ever knew who was right
There were also some good times too
Soon I'll be gone and won't know what to do
Anyway, I'm sorry about Anthony (the jerk)
I guess three months for him was enough work
Don't worry about the loser, he's not worth it
I shouldn't be talking, I've gone through the same shit
One more day closer to moving goes by
And everyone sits and wonders why
Why I have to move away. Why does it have to be?
Why does this tragedy have to happen to me?
No matter what I will still care about you
Even if there is nothing I can do

Memories - Written in 1995

2009-02-05T08:17:00.000-06:00

I wrote this before moving as well. It was written for all of my jr. high friends.

The memories I have of you
Are dancing through my head
All the crazy things we did
Like jumping on my bed

Dancing at the dances
Going out with guys
Walking through the mall
Or staring at the skies

Going to the movies
Had always been a blast
Until the day we knew
That it would be our last

Skipping out of gym
To hang out in the halls
Going in the bathrooms
To write on all the walls

Hugging all our buddies
Kiss marks on your cheek
Tears that make you happy
And tears that make you weak

Eating Kool-aid plain
Or putting it in our hair
That wasn't such a good idea
But we didn't even care

Playing truth or dare
Or playing suck and blow
Going to the Playground
Or having no where to go

Having a Halloween party
Or sitting in the dark
Most of us were crazy
But some of us were smart

Even thought we acted like kids
We never should forget
The times we were obsessed
Acting like Romeo & Juliet

Remember - Written for Kristen 1995

2009-02-05T08:14:00.000-06:00

I wrote this when I was moving from Randolph, MA to Toledo, OH. If you read this back then and it sounds different, that is because I edited it years later.

When I think of leaving I cry my heart out
But I know you hate it when I pout
Remember all the crazy times we've shared
Remember when I thought no one had cared
Remember the chocolate and the gravy too
Nobody's crazier than me and you
Remember when I was obsessed with him
Remember the quarrel with Kim
Remember the party and the food fight
Remember staying up til the middle of the night
Remember the 7th and 8th grade dances
Remember the wonderful, crazy romances
What will happen when I go away?
Who will you remember with throughout the day?
But we will always be there for each other
Even as we become mothers

Apology

2009-02-05T08:06:00.000-06:00

I want to apologize to my only follower and my imaginary readers. I haven't been in much of a writing mood or had much time to keep up with both blogs.

However, I have been reminiscing with my old jr high friends on Facebook and have decided to come post all my old poetry. I don't care if it's dumb, childish, gay or whatever else you might think about it. This was my LIFE for years. I couldn't stop writing. I wrote about anything and everything. I wrote when I was lying in bed at night, I wrote in the middle of class, I wrote whenever anything popped into my head that I wanted to put on paper.

It's not great, and it may not even be any good. But I love the innocence and memories that come through it. And I want to share it with my friends, again. So look out for lots of new posts and I hope you stick around to read at least some of it.

I Want Cookies, NOW!

2008-11-22T15:43:00.000-06:00

This is a poem I wrote long ago but I thought it fitting in response to the C. Beth Blog Giveaway.

Cookies are a way of life
Some have them, some don't
And some crave them more than others
Like me, I crave them all the time
I want to indulge them
And savor every chocolate chip until my cookie is gone
Then there are those who can't afford cookies
So they don't want them right now
And they tell you not to have cookies either
But I want cookies around all the time
To fill the emptiness inside of me
I understand you need a job to get cookies
And that I should save the cookies for later
I love cookies with a passion
And I want to have the best milk for my cookies
So I will listen to those other people
The ones who say save them for dessert
So I will save them for when I can provide the best milk for them
Even though it will be hard to live without cookies
I'll simply have to manage

Untitled

2008-11-17T14:06:00.000-06:00

I wrote straight from my heart
Meant to relieve me of my inner demons and desires
Not wanting to explode and needing to tell someone
My outlet was poetry

I wrote about love
I wrote about pain
I wrote about the past
And I wrote about the future

Reading those poems makes me realize how lonely I really was
Trying to replace an old flame with a new crush
Falling in "love" at the drop of a hat
I was never any good on my own

Losing what I thought was a soul mate broke me
Finding my other half put me back together
Looking back I know I was selfish
No one should have to play second fiddle

Believing in Love - Written On My 19th Birthday

2008-11-17T13:50:00.000-06:00

Never did I believe in love at first sight
Then I set my eyes on you
I felt as if I had known you forever
Wanting to kiss you and hold you, tell you all
Something made me feel connected to you
As if we were soul mates
Soul mates meeting each other for the first time
Ready to spend eternity together
You and me forever, with a single glance
Making me a believer

*I now believe that sometimes it is hard to know who you are destined to be with when your heart and head are clouded with the past*

Boyfriends - Written in Junior High

2008-11-14T08:17:00.000-06:00

I had boyfriend after boyfriend in those two years. I was not a hoochie by any means. I can't even believe that I had so many. Going back and reading this childish poem it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. These "relationships" may not have lasted but a week or two (one was off and on for the entire two years) but they still show me that I was liked and they thought I was pretty (either that or they thought I was easy and sadly disappointed).

John was one
Ryan was two
I wish Ryan was here to tie my shoe
Tony was three
Mike was four
I wish Billy was here to hold the door
Billy was five
Nelson was six
I wish Nelson was here to give me another kiss
Tim was seven
Paul Benefit was eight
I wish Paul Benefit was here so I could punch him in the face
Paul Wilson was nine
Who will be ten?
Cause I really don't feel like doing this all over again

*I find it funny that my "first" boyfriend was John and so was my last. They are not the same John but still, it is kind of humorous. I also don't really consider any of these guys real boyfriends. The only one that really meant anything to me was Ryan. He was my "puppy love" and it took me a long time to get over him after moving away.*

Who Am I?

2008-11-14T08:00:00.001-06:00

I am the wife that complains when her husband doesn't take out the trash
I am the wife that can't stand when her husband spends all the cash

I am the mom that drags 5 screaming kids out of the mall
I am the mom cleaning up spills all down the hall

I am the woman that doesn't know what she wants to be
I am the woman that no one wants to be

I am not one of these things, but all three rolled into one
I am not perfect and my job is never done

This is me, in all my faded glory
This is me, and this is my story

Drained

2008-11-13T15:15:00.000-06:00

If only time would stand still. Then maybe I could get some kind of order to my life.
Instead I wade through it with blinders on. I pretend tomorrow will be a better day.
In some ways the next day is better and in others it is much worse.
It really isn't all that bad to begin with. So really, I shouldn't be complaining.
And really, if I'm just going to mush on through life without making any effort to change than I really have no right to complain.
But here I sit... completely drained.

Day In, Day Out

2008-11-13T09:08:00.000-06:00

Wonder Pets singing in the background
Shy of 2 and squishing my cheeks
The wheels of a toy scoot across the laminate floors
Barks of dogs make their way to my ears

Running back and forth
My lip now twitching
The stress of the morning catching up with me
I will not break

But I do
I break from the writing
Only to correct a mistaken 4 year old
And then back to running

The twitching has stopped
Now it is time for more correction
On and on the day will go
Relief will come just in time

Strange Love - My First Poem

2008-11-13T08:49:00.001-06:00

I wrote this poem over 15 yrs ago and I can remember it word for word as if I wrote it just yesterday... I even still have the original copy, mistakes and all...

While at the beach, staring at the sky
I was eating a peach, when I saw something fly by
When suddenly it hit me, a boot from the sky
So I thought up a creation, of a boot that could fly
The wonderful creation, yes she was a beauty
And thee who flew it, yes he was a cutie
He flew east and west, north and south
And the cutie inside, he never opened his mouth
The next day as he flew up above, I suddenly realized that I was in love
As he landed on the ground, he didn't make a sound
Yet he invited me in, for a cool glass of gin
Without another word we began to make love, as we soared off the ground like a plain white dove
Then he finally spoke and got down on one knee and said to me, "Brianna, will you marry me?"
I gleamingly said yes, with a little laughter as we both lived happily ever after

Welcome!

2008-11-13T08:36:00.000-06:00

I have decided to start a poetry blog. Other blogs like One Minute Writer have inspired me to write more like I used to and I hope to inspire others as well. It may not mean much to any of you, but it is a place for me to come remember poetry that I wrote years ago or to write new stuff. It is also a place for other "closet poets" to come and share their poetry. Feel free to email me your work if you want it showcased here. Also feel free to analyze anything I write.

With this blog I hope to get my poetic thoughts flowing once again and to help other bloggers do the same. So let's get started!